“But I wonder how much it shapes the way people perceive me.” Anonymous Courtesan

Throughout the last five years of working as a companion there were times when I was in a serious relationship, times when I was single and times when I was dating. When I first started, I was in a relationship and fully disclosed to my partner the fact that I was entering into the world of escorting. I have always been upfront about that fact very early on in a relationship. I find it nearly impossible to form a genuine connection with a person if I begin with deception.

 I have met several ladies over the years, also companions, some of whom I considered associates and others as friends.

I have met the men in their lives, husbands or boyfriends. Some were in what I would call “monogamous” relationships. By that I mean that the two partners slept only with each other, except for her activities in her work.

Work was considered work but to do something “off the clock” was considered betrayal

I have known ladies who were in open relationships in which they both allowed each other to have relations with whomever they chose. At the end of the day, they came home to each other.  I have come across ladies who believed they are unable to sustain a healthy relationship as a companion and chose to put dating on hold until after they had retired.

I think about the qualities of a man who decides to enter into a relationship with a companion

Here are 2 contrasting descriptions:

• He must be a confident man who is very secure with himself. He can distinguish that a companion’s work is just that – work. I asked a man that dates a companion who I know what he felt were the challenges of the relationship. He replied, “It requires a certain mindset in which I have to be open-minded, extremely secure with myself and remember she is the woman I love and that is why I am with her.”
• The man who is dependent on a companion is not quite as ideal. I knew a lady who dated a man who was not motivated and had no ambition. He became reliant upon her as she was the breadwinner.

The big question for me has always been how much to reveal and how soon

Most people have a need to come home, unwind and talk about their workday. Sometimes, I need to vent. However, I don’t know how healthy it is for the man in my life to hear details about the gentlemen I meet. I think I risk the potential of causing him to feel insecure. However, there are things that I need to share so he can understand me. It’s a constant balancing act that I struggle with daily.

Written by Anonymous Guest Author for Geisha Diaries