A Lonely Man’s Craving – I am not what people assume I should be. I do not have a pimp, I do not work for anyone except myself and I am not on drugs. I am a middle aged, college educated woman 

I am not forced to work as a sex worker and for the record we prefer to be referred to as “providers”. I have so many common denominators with society that it shocks people when I tell them what I do for a living. I am a freak and I love to have sex with men. 

 

It hit me in a place pretty close to guilt 

I watched a show today that featured a family from the other side of the world. I could not understand their language, but I knew right away the nature of the relationship between the two females. It was a mother and daughter going in circles about the daughter’s loud music. 

 

How did I know that? Well, I have a teen who maintains her music on “call the police” level and I know how irritated I get. The body language I saw between this mother and her daughter looked very familiar. It hit me in a place pretty close to guilt. Originally I thought watching this program was a waste of time because I had nothing in common with the stars of the show. How mistaken was my assumption. 

 

She is forced to sell her body 

How many times have you seen a news break “special report” about the adult entertainment industry and immediately launched into your own concept of some cruel, greedy, outrageously dressed man slapping a seemingly innocent young girl around and making her work as a prostitute? You thought, OMG she is forced to sell her body, she must have a pimp, she is on drugs, her life is so pathetic and where are her parents? I will be the first to admit there are real life dramas exactly as I have described. 

 

I come from a different world. I am known as a high end provider 

 

 

I must also admit that I HATE pimps and I am a sex worker. We make people very nervous. A close friend who is very sex industry friendly told me why we make people nervous. We are not outlandishly obvious about what we do. We are well spoken, well liked, very friendly, dress conservatively, manage our health well, have children, friends and look like every day, normal women. This combination alone makes people very nervous. We are supposed to be ghetto, loud, ignorant, pimped, high on drugs and carry the demeanor of an uninformed adult. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are capable of instantly causing people to rethink their misgivings about exactly who is a verifiable, high end sex worker. 

 

There is a huge market for my services 

and I am mentally secure in my decision to put a for sale sign on my time. I conduct my business as a business, because it is a business. I do not engage in unsafe practices with my clients. I do not see just anyone. I don’t show up for an appointment looking like anything anyone ever expects. I am not the hot, blond girl who weighs 100lbs at 5’10. I am not the 20-year old waltzing through a hotel lobby with all my goods hanging out, drunk, loud and looking the role of a ho. Look very carefully at your surroundings the next time you are out and about. 

 

It is me sitting in the corner of a hotel bar 

with a jogging suit, a baseball cap, light make-up, sneakers. But oddly enough, my nails and smooth skin are flawless. I am ordering top shelf and my perfume is very expensive. I am the woman who valet parks the average vehicle. No one notices the man in the designer suit walking past the bar or that I walk out of the bar 10 minutes later. No one knows I am wearing La Perla lingerie underneath my jogging suit; that my hair stuffed under my baseball cap is cut and styled to perfection; that my make-up is professionally applied to make it look natural or my body which is toned to perfection. No one will notice as I slip out of this hotel in a few hours with a few thousand dollars. 

 

A few shocking things. This is what I do two days a week several times each day. OMG stop the presses: 

 

I am BLACK 

Not light-bright-damn-near white.  I am dark, co co brown. I am the secret mistress to hundreds of lonely men who have a co co obsession. I know they have a co co obsession, because they see all my co co friends. As my clients travel, they need their co co fix so my home girls and I all trade information about our clients. 

 

Contributing author for Geisha Diaries